Oh please, by all means, correct anything you want! I’m good with it.
And thanks for reading and reviewing. Check out next week for the next chapter.
Speaking of next chapter, I’ll give you a hint of what is next. Basicly, the next chapter summerizes a “normal” day for Violet.
Another really wonderful chapter, TSS. (Sorry that you’ve probably heard this from me a couple times already, but Violet’s nervousy under pressure really makes me think of Atta.)
Anyway, you really captured their personalities and actions well. I felt like I was reading from a professional sequel-writer. 
TSS: Great addition. Could you update more often? 
pleez?
Rachel: Of all the grammar police, you’re the least annoying. 
BBD: Well, I am not sure about a professional. But thanks for your complements.
A113: Well, I don’t know. I’ll think about updating it more often. Thanks anyways.
TSS - Ooooh. Sounds intriguing.
Here is your next chapter you guys.
Chapter 5: Violet’s Mundane Life
Early in the morning, in Violet’s tranquil room, the silence of last night was suddenly broken by a. . .
“RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!”
Violet slowly started to open her eyes. She turned and silenced her alarm clock. She instantly went back to sleep. She was completely exhausted.
Meanwhile, back downstairs, Helen had just finished cooking breakfast. She looked at the table but noticed that only Dash was present.
“Dash,” the mother asked, “where is your sister?”
“I don’t know mom. I’ll get her.”
Dash sprinted up the steps to his sister’s room. Once he got to the door, he quietly opened the door. Dash could see Violet, still asleep, tucked under the covers of her bed. He slowly crept up to his slumbering sister.
“HEY VIOLET, WAKE UP!” he yelled.
In an instant, Violet’s eyes shot open. She sat up on her bed. She glared at her brother.
“Dash, get out of my room!” commanded Violet.
“Mom told me to wake you up. I’m not leaving until you are ready. And at your speed, we will probably be late for school.”
“Little twerp, I said get out!”
Violet got out of her bed and stomped over to Dash. Once she got very close, he darted to the other side of her room. Violet stopped then stormed her way over to her mischievous little brother.
Dash grinned. “Maybe this will wake you up.”
In a flash, Dash ran to the other side of the room, but not before giving Violet a nice slap across the face. Violet recoiled to the floor. She got to her knees, but once again, Dash ran and slapped his sister across the face again. Violet was sent to the floor again. For fifteen seconds, Dash would continue to slap the eldest Parr silly. She tried desperately to throw a force field in front of Dash, but each slap she endured would cause her to loose her concentration, in addition would bring pain to her face. The pain stung more and more as she fell victim to another one of Dash’s speedy slaps. Her eyes started to become filled with tears.
“Dash. . .(slap). . .stop. . .(slap). . .please. . .(slap). . . cut. . . (slap). . . it. . . (slap). . .out. . .” cried Violet.
She was panting on all fours. Tears were coming out of her eyes.
“I have always wanted to do that to you. For every time you used your force fields on me.”
Dash started to walk out of her room. Violet slowly got to her feet. The little boy stopped and turned around. Her leaned against the door. Violet angrily walked over to her sneering sibling.
“YOU LITTLE PEST! LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Violet pulled her leg back and threw a kick at her little brother. Dash, with excellent reaction and speed, hurried himself out of the room. As a result, Violet’s bare foot kicked the hard wooden door, sending a jolt of pain in her right foot. She fell back to the floor as she nursed her foot. Minutes later, she slowly got up, took a quick shower, and then changed into her casual clothes. She came downstairs for breakfast, in a pink shirt with some blue jeans. She had cereal for breakfast. While she was eating, she kept glaring at Dash. Then, Helen noticed something.
“Violet honey, what happened to your face?” she inquired. “Why is your face so red?”
Violet continued to glare at Dash, who was trying to keep himself from laughing. After Vi finished breakfast, she went and got some ice. She placed it on her face to treat a little bit of the soreness. Afterwards, she got her backpack, slipped on her purple sandals, and headed out the door.
Helen first dropped Dash of at Metroville Elementary School. Dash retrieved his backpack from the trunk of the car and headed towards his school. Afterwards, Helen dropped her daughter at Western View Junior High. Violet waved to her mother as she drove into the distance.
“Well,” thought Violet, “time to start another day of school.”
Violet decided to wait in front of the school before the bell rang. She looked all around and saw many diverse students in their groups of disparity. She looked and saw a bunch of nerds under a nearby tree, discussing homework. Violet saw some more kids arrive at the school as they exited their cars. Violet turned her head to the left and saw the popular girls walking by. One girl, who happens to be the leader of the popular group, noticed Violet sitting down on the steps, in front of the entrance to the school.
“Hey girls, look what we got here?” she wondered.
Violet replied, “What do you want Britney?”
“Oh nothing,” Britney answered, “just coming here, showing off all of the hot stuff I got.”
Britney showed Vi her expensive shoes, clothes and rings. “Wow, nice. Wish I had stuff like that.” said Violet.
“Well you don’t. You know why?” teased Brittany. Violet shook her head. “Because I am ten times richer than you. . . and don’t breathe on these. They are brand new.”
“Do you think I care? I got something better than any of those things.” Violet smiled. Britney and her gang looked utterly confused. Violet sighed and responded. “It’s Tony Rydinger.”
“Oh, him. Girl, what confuses me is why would he, Tony Rydinger, the cutest, most athletic, most handsome boy in the world, pick you?”
Violet was shocked to hear this. “What? Well he. . .”
“I mean come on. What are you compared to me? I’m popular, hot, all the guys are crazy for me, and you? You are an ugly, unfavorable, insecure, geeky, weak, outcast with no chance at anything at all in life. I don’t know about you Violet, but you and Tony are like oil and water: they just don’t go well together.”
Suddenly, the bell rang. Britney and the popular gang followed her inside. They left Violet alone on the steps with tears in her eyes. She began to cry as she took off her pink headband, resulting a large clump of hair curtaining her face, and trudged her way inside the school. She went inside the girls locker room for PE. Unfortunately, she meets up with Britney again. She dresses into her PE clothes as fast as she could, then dashes to the gym. After jogging all around the gym, and a lot of conditioning, Violet returned to the PE lockers and got changed. Her muscles were all sore. When the bell rang, signaling second period, Violet made her was through the school to her science class. There, she took down notes and later did a lab. Soon, the bell rang. Violet hurried to her locker. As she tried to open her locker, somebody called out to her.
“Hey Violet!”
Violet had to push her hair back behind her ear to locate the person who was calling to her. Then, she was able to distinguish Tony Rydinger close by.
“Hey Tony, gotta go. I’m gonna be late for my English class.
Violet retrieved her books from her locker and dashed to her English class. When she got there, she started reading for twenty minutes. Afterwards, she did a little writing. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not help but sob a bit.
“Maybe Britney was right. Tony and I are completely opposite of each other. I don’t deserve him. He doesn’t deserve me.”
Violet went through the entire period with tears in her. Soon, it was lunch time. Violet went over to her usual shady spot and sat down. She reached inside her lunch sack and pulled out a sandwich. She was about to take a bite when she noticed other students walking by, and starring at her oddly. Violet tries to ignore them.
Violet would hear them say things like, “Oh who is that girl? Why is she acting so weird?”
Violet’s tears fell from her face and on to her food. This has clearly been the worst school day she has ever had.
Then, a boy sat right next to her. “Hey Vi, you okay?”
Violet looked to her right and saw Tony Rydinger sitting down next to her.
“Tony. . .” she gasped as she wiped away her tears, “h. . .h. . . hi.”
“Violet, what’s wrong? I said hi to you and you completely ignore me. Plus, you wiped away your tears and you’re hiding behind your hair. Is there something you want to tell me?” wondered Tony.
Violet asked, “Tony, tell me the truth. Do you. . . love me?”
“Violet. . . I. . .”
“Do you?” Violet asked again, a little more tense.
“Violet,” said a surprised Tony, “of course I love you, more than anything. Why do you ask that?”
“Well, I don’t know. I thought that you wouldn’t love an ugly, unpopular, insecure, geeky, weak, social outcast like me.”
Violet broke into tears again. Tony sighed, then sat closer to Violet.
“Vi, have you been talking to Britney again?” Tony questioned. Violet nodded her head. Tony brushed her hair behind her ears. “Oh Violet, I don’t care if you are popular, or hot, or any of that stuff. Way deep down inside, I know you are the prettiest girl in the entire world. From my perspective, I see a blossoming Violet. And not just any Violet, but a pretty, beautiful, sweet, kind, gentle Violet. The Violet that I love so much.”
Tony’s powerful words captivated Vi’s heart. She blushes, shining a cute, irresistible smile.
“Oh Tony, thank you. That was so sweet of you.” was all a speechless Violet said.
“Anytime Vi, anytime.”
Violet and Tony gazed into each other’s eyes. They slowly advance toward each other. Once their lips were about three inches apart from each other, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. The two teens sighed as they got up and headed for their next class.
Math was next for Violet. After math was History. This was one of Violet’s favorite subjects. She learned about the Medieval times and enjoyed the lessons her teacher taught. After that, school was over. Violet waited in front of the school for her mom. Then, somebody came up behind and covered her eyes.
“Guess who.”
Violet smiled. “Hi Tony.”
“Hello beautiful.”
“Tony, please. . .” Violet blushed. Tony smiled. “That was really sweet of you. You know, what you said to me today.”
“Come on Vi, you know I love ya. And to show you that I mean it, how about you and me go to the mall sometime soon.”
Violet’s eyes lit up. “I would love to.”
“Great!” exclaimed Tony.
Suddenly, Helen honked her horn. After Vi blew a kiss to Tony, she entered her mother’s car. She was greeted by Helen, Dash, and Jack-Jack.
“How was school honey?” asked Helen.
“Oh, the usual,” Violet replied, “boring, fun. . . and romantic.” she sighed.
“Tony Rydinger.” teased Dash.
“I swear, one of these days, I’m gonna kill you little pest.” Violet threatened.
“Mom, Vi’s gonna kill me!”
The two continued to fight until they got home. Violet went up to her room and started on her homework, but she couldn’t get Tony out of her head. She would sometimes would get momentarily distracted. After a couple hours, she finished her homework.
Right after she place her math book inside her backpack, “Violet, Dash, time for dinner!”
Violet walked down the stairs and found a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs waiting for her at the table. Minutes later, she was joined by Dash, Jack-Jack, Helen, and Bob. They all sat down to eat. A couple minutes later, Dash started the conversation.
“Oh my gosh, I am so excited dad. Saturday tomorrow, I go on a high level mission for the first time! I have never been so excited in my life!”
“I’m glad son.” exclaimed Bob.
Violet, who had been silent for most of the time, finally spoke. “Uh dad, by chance is it too late to. . . you know, call this mission off?”
A moment of silence followed after that. Everyone stared at Violet for a long time. Bob and Dash gave her an extremely odd look.
“You’re kidding aren’t you Vi?” Dash inquired.
“Well. . .” she started.
“I’m afraid it’s too late now honey. Once the NSA assigns a mission, it can’t be canceled.” added Bob. Violet slowly looked down at her plate. “Besides Violet, it’s a great honor to be selected for something like this.”
“I know.” Violet mumbled.
Helen looked at Violet. She knew that her daughter was so insecure about the current situation. She continues to eat as Violet got up from the table, placed her dishes away, and headed straight to her room.
Helen glared at her husband “Don’t you think you were being a little rash with your decision?”
“What are you talking about?” her husband questioned.
“Before you made your decision, haven’t you considered the fact that she isn’t really ready for this?”
“Honey, are you saying that I don’t care for her?”
“I’m not saying that at all. All I’m saying is that maybe you could consider our daughter. She is in this family too you know. I can’t believe for once you didn’t even stop to think of her. She isn’t ready for something like this Bob.”
Back in Vi’s room, she was busy writing in he diary. She writes slowly as tears fall from her eyes and on to the paper. After she finishes her entry, she takes a shower. After that, she changed into a pair of pink pajamas. She was about to tuck herself into bed when something caught her eye. It was a picture frame of her and Tony on their second date. As she continued to gaze at the picture, she bawled.
“Oh Tony, I’m not sure if this is the last time I will ever see you again. I’m trying to be strong like my mother told me. . . but it’s just so hard for me. It’s so hard just being a Super right now. Why can’t I be normal? Why did I have to be cursed with these powers? Why can’t I have a normal life instead of a freaky, dangerous, Super Hero life?”
Violet went and tucked herself into bed. Tears still streaked out of her eyes. She continued to cry as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.
Aw, bad day for Vi. She should just ignore people like Britney.
And in the morning, would Dash really be that harmful?
I forgot what happens next, so I can’t wait to (re)read the next chapter!
BBD: About your second critique, I was watching TI when I was wring this chapter, so I was hoping I can put in the dinner slapping part into my story.
The dialogue for this chapter was well written, my favs: “From my perspective, I see a blossoming Violet.” and "I don’t know about you Violet, but you and Tony are like oil and water: they just don’t go well together.” I don’t really understand where the annoyingness from Dash towards Violet is coming from, though. I know little brothers are meant to be that way, but it seems to be very mean-spirited without any good reason behind it.
It’s good to finally get to the reason behind Violet’s moods, otherwise it seems like she is moody for no good reason, I think you should expand upon that more in future chapters.
Keep up the great writing. =)
Thanks rachel.
Okay guys, expect another chapter tommorow.
Here is a new chapter for you guys
Chapter 6: Nomanisan Bound
The next morning, Dash was restless, excited, and ready to go. As soon as he got up, he quickly changed into his Super Suit and sprinted down the stairs for breakfast. When he sat down by the table, Helen placed a plate of food on the table. Dash gazed at the vast amount of delicious food placed on the table. He noticed a stack of pancakes, a bottle syrup, sizzling sausage patties piled on top of each other, a plateful of fried, fresh bacon, and scrambled eggs.
“Eat up honey.” said Helen. “A Super Hero must be strong and healthy on a high level mission.”
Bob and Dash loaded their plates with food. They started to devour their breakfast. Minutes later, Violet came downstairs. She sat down and helped herself to some pancakes and syrup.
“Good morning Violet.” greeted Helen.
“Morning mom.” Violet replied in a tired, monotonic voice.
“Did you sleep well?” Helen inquired. Violet nodded.
While the Parrs eat their breakfast, Bob discussed the general overview of the mission. “Okay everyone. Here’s the plan. The NSA is going to provide us a jet to take us over to Nomanisan Island. Further details of our mission will be explained during our trip there. Everything clear?”
The family nodded. After the Parrs finished their breakfast, they started to put their dishes away. Bob offered Helen to wash the dishes for her. Helen agreed and went upstairs to get her Super Suit. Before she got to her room, she stopped at the door to Violet’s room. She peeked inside and saw Violet sitting on her bed with her face hiding behind her hair. Helen walked into the room and sat down next to her daughter.
“You nervous Vi?”
“Yes mom, I am.”
“You don’t have to be. You have your family coming along with you.” Helen reassured. Violet was silent and did not say a word. Helen sighed. “Honey, is there something you want to tell me?”
Violet brushed her hair out of her face and looked at her mother. “Mom, I don’t want to be a Super Hero any more.”
Helen was shocked to hear Violet say this. “Honey, how can you say such a thing? You know you don’t mean it.”
“Yes I do mom.” Violet answered a little louder.
“No you don’t.”
“YES I DO MOM!” shouted Vi. Helen was surprised and winced but Violet started to calm down. “You don’t understand mom. My powers. . . they aren’t special, they are a curse to me. Ever since I first discovered my powers, my life changed. You don’t know what it’s like. To move from place to place, trying to act normal when you can’t be normal. And now, because I have to patrol with you guys, my social life has been cut off from me. I can’t spend anytime with my friends, I canceled my last four dates with Tony, and school has become so much harder now. Why was I cursed with these powers? Why can’t I be normal mom? WHY?”
Tears cascaded out of the teenaged Parr’s eyes. She buried her face into her pillow and started to cry. Helen couldn’t help but feel sorry for her daughter.
“Oh sweetie,” she consoled Vi, “your powers are not a curse, they are what make you, you. Do you see? You think of all the negative sides of having powers, you overlook the positive side of them. I mean, think of all the lives you saved with your powers, how many villains you apprehended, and even better, you Violet, are Tony Rydinger’s favorite hero.”
Violet smiled. She totally remembered that event.
[i]Flashback
One day after school, Violet was waiting in front of the school for her mom to pick her up. Suddenly, Tony Rydinger came up from behind.
“Hi Violet!”
“Hey Tony. How are you today?”
“Well, I’m glad you asked. Last night I had one of the scariest nights of my life.”
“Do tell!” requested Violet. She knew what had happened on account that she was the one who saved him.
“Well, I was walking home from school, when this demented, crazy guy grabbed me from behind and trapped me in a headlock. As I struggled to break free, he pulled out a gun from his pocket and aimed it right at my head. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life. When the police came, sweat was dripping down my head and shivers were sent through my spine. He demanded 500,000 dollars and a getaway car, or he would kill me. After a while, something surprising happened. All of the sudden, the man taking me hostage got clonked in the back with a pole. He fell to the floor and had a look of terror on his face. I looked behind and almost jumped out of my skin as I saw a levitating pole in front of my face. I was terrified, then Invisigirl appeared right in front of me. After that, she formed a force field, entrapping the crazed out man.” Tony concluded. “And it was so incredible Violet, Invisigirl is just so amazing. I wish I could go out with her. Someone so brave, determined, beautiful, and heroic like her!”
Every word Tony said made Violet redder and redder. “If only you knew Tony.” she whispered to herself. “Your wish will always come true every time.”
End flashback[/i]
Violet flashed a small smile. Helen continued. “You see Violet? You are so desperate in trying to be normal, you never give yourself, or your powers a chance to shine. Remember Violet, it’s not about what you are, but who you are that really matters.”
Violet wiped away her tears. “Thanks mom.” She said, embracing her mother.
Helen kissed her daughter on the forehead, the went to her room to change into her super suit. Violet went to her closet, took out her Super Suit, and started to get dressed. She placed her feet into her boots and her hands in her gloves. After that, she placed the mask on her face. Before leaving, she went to her dresser. Violet reached in one of her drawers and took out her orange headband. She place it on her head with her hair tucked behind her ears. After taking one last glance at the mirror, she left her room and into the garage.
//////////\
The family all entered the Incredibile. They first drove to Lucius’s house and dropped off Jack-Jack. Next the family of Super Heroes drove to the Metroville Airport. They were greeted by Rick Dicker. Everyone in the family took turns to shake his hand. Afterwards, the Incredibles family boarded a manta jet and departed from the airport.
“The NSA received very strange life readings on Nomanisan Isand.” explained Rick.
“What kind of readings?” Elastigirl wondered.
“You are not going to believe this,” Rick said, “but according to the information we obtained, the NSA hypothesizes that the Supers who have died in the past are still active in the island.”
Everyone’s eyes widened. “Anything else?” inquired Dash.
“Well, now that you mentioned it, we also believe that your arch-nemesis Syndrome is still alive on this island. However, we were unable to find the connection between the two strange events.”
“You want us to find out what is going on in Nomanisan Isaland.” concluded Mr. Incredible.
“Affirmative.” Rick smiled.
The plane reached nearer towards the island. The family looked out the window of the plane and saw the beautiful island. As the plane circled around Nomanisan, Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Invisigirl, and Speedster gazed at the islands exuberant, lushes jungles, cascading waterfalls, powerful volcanoes, tropical lagoons.
“This island brings back a lot of memories.” mumbled Violet.
Mr. Incredible spoke to his family. “Okay everyone. Here’s the plan. We are all going to split up and explore a different part of the island.”
Invisigirl did not like the sound of her father’s idea. “Uh dad,” she asked, “Do we have to. . . you know, split up? I mean, wouldn’t it be just safer to. . . stick together?”
“Oh come one Vi, stop being such a sissy.” Speedster laughed.
“Dash, be nice to your sister.” warned Elastigirl.
The Super heroine tried her hardest not to cry. Then, the jet made a smooth landing in the ocean. It floated slowly towards the beach.
“Violet, this is your stop.” Mr. Incredible mentioned.
Invisigirl began to tremble as apprehension grew inside of her. Finally, they jet reached the beach. Invisigirl jumped out of the jet and landed on the sandy beach. As the manta jet began to depart, the teenaged Super turned around and faced the jungle in front of her, alone.
“Okay Violet,” she sighed to herself, “you can do this. Just. . . don’t die, get beat up, or let anything bad happen.”
Invisigirl gulped. She had never felt so nervous and anxious in her entire life. She gave one last long sigh before she sprinted and started her adventure in the jungle of Nomanisan Island.
From what Tony said, it actually seemed like he knew Invisigirl was Violet! (though I guess he doesn’t.)
Anyway, wow, I wonder what Violet will find while exploring the jungle. I suddenly feel like I’m reading it for the first time! 
I am really, really hesitant to post up my next chapter. Violet explores Nomanisan in the next chapter, but some really scary and shocking things happen to her. I need some suggestions. Should I put spoiler tags over stuff that seems a little too strong?
If you really think it’s that bad, send it to PV first and she can see if it’s suitable to be posted here, or not. I can’t really give you an opinion since I don’t know what’s in it… I’ll read your next chapter soon.
Thanks rachel. I’ll go ask her.
Also, I hope you enjoy the next chapter. You get a feeling that it is like Bob and Mirage on the Manta jet before Bob gets sent to the island
I really liked this chapter. I can’t wait to read how Violet fights on her own, and just depends on herself to get through the situation. Violet tends to annoy me, though, because she is sulky all the time, but that’s her character, I guess, and you’ve done a good job of emphasising that. Do you think you will focus on other characters in this fan fic?
rachel: I am trying to make her a little more confident than her gloomy side in the movie, but I also want her to stay a little shy as well. Although she is a blooming Violet, she is still a growing Violet.
Well, this is mostly around VIolet, but I think we’ll mention the other characters in there soon.
Ok, I see. Do you have an outline in your head of the whole chapter of the fanfic?
Uh, rachel, I have finished this fanfic way before I posted the first chapter here. I am already done with writing it.
Oh, I thought you wrote a chapter every week and posted it here. Do you change what you write in regards to feedback people give you, or is it pretty much all set? =)