Klutchgoneski Anecdotes

I wrote this poem this morning, relating to Ray Klutchgoneski, a character in Cars 2.

Klutchgoneski Anecdote #1:

Ir was the best of times;
it was the worst of times.
Actually, it was cone time
when our great-bulldozer
would tell us stories of the open road.

In those days,
young cars were raised on the old adage,
‘Mind your Priuses and Volvos.’

Once two jeeps with crookish minds
kidnapped a pretty lass,
force-fed her Shell Station gasoline,
then ravaged her.

Sailing out thirty miles
on a yacht,
the villians coerced
her into driving
the plank.

Pleading for mercy,’
she received none.
Down plonked the lady,
into the death-sea.

The jeeps watched her,
and once they were satisfied
she was drowned,
they returned to shore.

But what’s this?
Metal-devouring submarines surround her,
thinking it’s time for another morsel.
No, her eyes opened!
‘Eatest thou not the flesh of the living.’

What the jeeps didn’t know?
You can lead a Porsche to water,
but you can’t make her sink.