Alright, things are finally getting underway! 
Iâd love to take a history class where we could learn about Supers!
Anyway, nothing bad grammatical-wise. I like how you reveal the characterâs personalities through their conversations (like Kari being bullied by the cheerleaders, pool girl!).
I can see a little foreshadowing with that subject topic. Maybe the Parrâs identities will be the central theme of this story? I donât know, but I like where this is going. 
Post a new chapter when youâre ready, TSS.
Time time? Okay you give them all the time time they need.
Thank you TDIT. You can expect one tommorow, hopefully.
On fanfiction.net, I have recieved a review on me picking up the story a bit. Well the first couple of chapters are going to go slow before any action can begin. Remember, this is a trilogy, and this is only part one.
Chapter 4: Library Research
Violet, Tony, and Kari all met in front of Metrovilleâs Grand Library. It was the biggest library in the whole city, filled with every book imaginable. The three went inside. As soon as they stepped inside, they gazed in awe of the massive foyer.
âWhere do we start?â asked Kari.
âWe can ask.â said Tony, going up to the front desk.
An old lady over there greeted him. âHello young man. How may I help you today?â
âMy friends and I are doing a project about Supers. Do you know where we can find information about them?â
The old lady looked at Tony, then at Kari and Violet. She smiled and got out of her seat. âOf course I do. Follow me.â
The three students followed the lady down a couple of rows of bookshelves filled with books on every subject imaginable. A minute later, the lady showed them rows of books on the subject of Super Heroes. There were books on Super Heroesâ origin, history of legendary Supers, the NSA and its operations and structure, even books on todayâs Supers.
âThank you.â said Violet, taking a couple books from the shelves.
Violet, Kari and Tony took three books each and made their way toward an open round-table. They each took out a piece of paper and a pencil. They each opened a book and started their research on Super Heroes and identities. They worked a good thirty-minutes by themselves before sharing with each other.
âWhat did you find Kari?â Violet asked.
âWell, I was looking at the National Supers Agency and how they help Supers maintain secrecy of Super Hero identities. According to what I read, the NSA usually does two things: erase peopleâs memories and relocate the Supers. After an individual or a group of people witnesses something that could jeopardize a Superâs identity, the NSA sends agents to interrogate them. After that, they shall proceed to erase their memory of the incident.â Kari finished reading her notes and looked at Violet and Tony. âWow, reading that kinda sounds like dĂ©jĂ vu.â
Violet tried her best not to giggle. Violet knew her best friend had her memory erased after babysitting Jack-Jack. Since then, the Parrs stopped calling Kari to baby-sit, not to mention that Kari decided to take a temporary leave from her job. She still remained a good friend of the family.
âWhat made you say that Kari?â Tony asked.
She shrugged. âEh, I donât know, crazy thought.â
Tony took out his notes. âWell, I did a little research on Super Hero relocation. I find it a little sad. Supers are to be relocated immediately to ensure safety of their identity, however if some conditions permit, the relocation could be rescinded. The NSA could relocate them from a couple blocks away from their previous home to even another city, state, or country. Relocating is one of the hardest things to cope with for a Super Hero and his/her family. When a young Super is relocated, he/she usually has to move to different schools, say good-bye to close friends and even end relationships. For the parents . . .â Tony continued to read.
Violet shuddered. Back then, thanks to her father, Violet always found herself moving from place to place. She found it more annoying than hard. Just as soon as she settled in, her father would blow the familyâs cover, resulting in another relocation.
Violet has moved a total of four times. She moved around the area of Metroville three times, and one time out of the city of Metroville. She was never a social person. Vi was always labeled the social outcast everywhere she moved to. However, since her family has been relocated to Metroville, she had gained confidence, been more active in extra-curricular activities, even made some really close friends. She would hate to be relocated again. She could not imagine moving away from her friends and starting over again.
âHey Violet?â said Tony, tapping on her shoulder. âViolet, are you okay?â
Violet blinked. âIâm fine. Why?â
âYou were drifting a bit.â he replied.
âIâm sorry Tony. I guess I am just tired.â
âWell, we all have been working for a while. I think we got enough information to do our project.â said Kari. âLets go home.â
Very nice, TSS ! Very nice. First off, I really like how you dug a little deeper into Violetâs past and how sheâs moved so many times. (Though I could beat her, with her having moved 4 times and me 8 or 9 times.) You really showed how itâs affected her, and how sheâs recovered well. Iâd like to see what extra-curricular activities sheâs involved in. I also liked how youâve shown Kariâs memories kind of coming back. "Wow, reading that kinda sounds like dĂ©jĂ vu.â 
Overall, I can definitely see more of the characters personalities coming out as the story progresses. Keep it up !
Thank you for your review Violet Parr.
Wait, so âA New Threatâ is only the first installment of what will eventually become your fan trilogy? Is this a continuation from âSyndromeâs Returnâ or essentially a reboot Casino Royale/Batman Begins-style?
Well, I liked the bit with Kari having deja-vu. Nice tie-in to âJack-Jack Attackâ.
I also liked the part where Violet recalls her past and expresses fears of having to move away, especially after having such great friends like Tony and Kari. Itâs interesting to reveal a characterâs deepest fears, as it shows theyâre not without weaknesses. I can predict something will happen that may just cause her fear to come true.
Overall, a decent if intriguing chapter. Still a little slow-moving, but you made up with the downtime by going into Violetâs past history. I think one of your writing strengths is rather than leaping straight into non-stop action (like most novice fanfic writers like moi do 
), you actually step back and devote time to exploring the charactersâ personalities and relationships with others. Keep that up.
TDIT:
âA New Threatâ is part one of a new fan story. It has no connection to Syndromeâs Return.
I know that you, as well as everyone else who is reading this, are dying for action. Sadly, that wonât happen until two chapters from now. However, I will tell you to look forward to the next chapter. It is a short lead in to a robbery mentioned in chapter one.
Thank you for your comments.
Here is the next chapter everyone. I hope you enjoy it.
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Chapter 5: One Week Later
After the presentation, everyone in the class applauded. The three felt a sense of accomplishment and relief as they headed toward their seats.
âVery well done you three.â complemented the teacher. âA very strong presentation deserves a solid A. Well done!â
Violet and her friends watched the other presentations. There were some good ones and some poor ones. The thing that really disappointed Violet was the presentation on current-day Supers. They had Invisigirl and the Incredibles in their presentation, but she noticed that the presenters were a little off on their information. Violet giggled to herself a bit during the presentation, but no one noticed.
After the presentations were over, people started talking with their friends, waiting for the bell to ring. Violet was putting her textbook in her backpack, when Kari came up to her.
âSo Vi, what did you think of the presentations?â she asked.
Violet replied, âI thought they were some good ones. I was hoping for Andre, Rachel, Laura, and Thomas to have a little more information on the Incredibles.â
Kari laughed. âI figured you were going to say that. They are your favorite huh?â Violet nodded. âMine too.â replied Kari.
âMe three.â said Tony, walking into the conversation. âEveryone loves the Incredibles. How can anyone not? I mean unless you are a Super Villain.â
Kari laughed. Violet smiled. She loved it when people comment her family. But what she heard next made her blush.
âThey really are incredible. But I think that the daughter of the family, Invisigirl, is really pretty. She is so amazing, smart, and graceful when she fights. She is also very beautiful. I would give anything to go on a date with her!â
Violet took off her hair band and let her curtain of hair fall in front of her face. Her face was as red as the rose. She wanted Tony to continue with his comments, but at the same time, she was getting more and more embarrassed.
âUh Violet, are you okay?â asked Tony.
Violet pulled her hair back and smiled awkwardly at Tony. Her face returned to its pale color. âIâm fine! Iâm fine!â
//////////\
The bell rang, signaling the end of another school day. Violet made her way toward the front of the school. She could see people waiting for their rides and others walking over to their cars. Violet waited for her mother to pick her up. A voice called behind her.
âHey Violet!â
She turned around. It was Tony Rydinger, weaving his way through the crowd of people. Violet smiled as soon as he came up to her.
âHi Tony.â
âViolet, can I ask you something?â He asked. Violet nodded. âI was wondering if you . . . uh . . . had any plans on Friday.â
Violetâs eyes widened. She had it figured out as soon as he started stammering. Both of them have not been on a date in two weeks. The reason why is because some crook or bad guy always ruined their plans. Violet was about to say yes when she would remember something that shattered any hope of dinner and a movie with Tony. She and her family had patrol duty that night.
Violet said, âIâm really sorry Tony, but my family and I already have plans.â
Tony chucked. âYou know, you said that the last couple of times. But that is okay, maybe next time then.â
Violet grinned, leaned into Tony and kissed him on the cheek. She was very lucky and happy that Tony was a flexible and unselfish person. But both would be disappointed if they couldnât get a date set up. However, that never stopped them from keeping their relationship strong. Then, she heard her mother honking her horn at her.
âI gotta go Tony. See you tomorrow.â
âBye, my little lovebug.â
Violet blushed, entering her momâs car. Her romantic moment was ruined by Dashâs teasing. Both continued to argue as Helen drove home.
When they got home, they saw Bobâs car parked in the driveway. He was standing outside, waiting for them.
âHey Bob,â said Helen. âYouâre home early.â
âNo time everyone. There is an emergency. Suit up. Weâre needed.â
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Well everyone, next chapter, the first action scene starts. I hope you guys continue to read this story.
PS: Did anyone catch a Pixar Planet reference?
Another great one, TSS ! I like how weâre getting to see Violet at school more. I especially liked how you showed Violet giggling at the miss-accusations of the other kids. The only minor critiques would be that Kari doesnât seem as talkative as she was in the movie, unless you intended her to be that way for some reason; and the dialogue doesnât quite sound like the characters. But, other than that, great job so far ! You know, as others have said, with how Tony talks about Invisigirl right in front of Violet, one canât help but think that heâs starting to get curious . Keep it up, TSS ! Canât wait for the action to start 
! God Bless!
Oh! I almost forgot! I did catch the Pixar Planet reference .
âAndre, Rachel, Laura, and Thomasâ
All names of other members. The only one I donât recognize is Laura.
Oh boy, well, I had to delete the last part due to its really mature nature, but Iâll keep the first part in mind. Thanks for the comment (or flame in this case) because this is going to be a spark to write better and more.
So Keep them comming!!! 
Violet Parr: Kari not as talkative huh? Hmm, I was thinking that she isnât talkitive in class becuase people are giving presentations, however, when i was in high school, I do know that some nonstop blabbermouths exist. Thanks for the suggestions.
You are right also Violet. The reference is the four most loyal, friendly members on Pixar Planet that I know.
Finally everyone, some action!!!
Chapter 6: Robbery
Outside the Metroville Institute of Technology, eight robots gathered together. They marched up the steps and to the large front door. One of the robots forcefully knocked the door off of its hinges and on to the ground with one solid punch. The robots all stormed into the building.
The Metroville Institute of Technology is a museum to showcase new technological creations, a factory, and a laboratory for testing and inventing advanced experimental technology. This prestigious place holds some of the worldâs finest inventions.
Inventions include a transportation pod, where you just type in a location and it flies you there in seconds. It is friendly to then environment and it saves time and money. A bathtub with mechanical arms that wash your hair, soap your body, brush your teeth, floss and shave all at the same time. And a mini-camera that moves around by hovering, equipped with a recording device to record images and footage, perfect for spy-work.
The robots ran down the halls of the institute. They stopped at each and every door, knocked it down, and checked inside. After checking the first ten rooms, the robots still havenât found what they were looking for. Security guards tried to stop them, but to no avail. The bullets of the guardsâ handguns could not penetrate the robotsâ armor. The guards would end up being knocked out and tossed outside.
Finally, the robots arrived at the testing facility. It was a big room with computers, inventions, and lights everywhere. The robots started searching, destroying anything and everything in their path.
âStop right there!â said a voice.
The robots turned around. The Incredibles, all in their brightly colored Supers Suits and in their fighting stances, stood by the entrance.
âTarget. . . Incredibles. . .Destroy!!!â said the robots in unison, running up to the family.
Mr. Incredible commanded, âEveryone, split up!!!â
Each member of the Super family all hopped out of the way and ran to a corner of the testing facility. The robots divided themselves into four groups of two. They all split up.
Mr. Incredible, upon being cornered by the robots, stopped and turned around. Both robots were about to punch Mr. Incredible, but the muscular Super grabbed both robots by the hand, lifted them up in the air, and forcefully slammed them back on to the ground. The impact sent a heap of metal and robotic limbs flying in all directions.
Elastigirl ran as fast as she could. The androids pursued after her, inching closer and closer. Elastigirl then elongated her arm up toward the ceiling. She grabbed one of the hanging lights and lifted herself off of the ground. The robots stopped in their tracks and looked up at her. Elastigirl, hanging from the lights by her legs, stretched out her arms and grabbed an android, wrapping her arm around its body. It wasnâtâ heavy, but it did take some effort from her to hoist it up. Once it was about fifteen feet above ground, Elastigirl dropped the android. It landed right on the other android, destroying them both.
Invisigirl assumed a fighting position. She eyed the first robot, then the second. They came in on the attack, but Invisigirl was ready. She blocked a punch from one and dodged a kick from the other. Invisigirl then kicked one robot in the ribs, and then kicked the other in the face. She then turns invisible. The confused robots stood still nervously. Invisigirl delivered a quick strike to one of the robots. Next, she swept the other android off of its feet. The robots got to their feet. Invisigirl then unleashed a barrage of invisible attacks on to the robots. They stumbled backwards. Invisigirl materialized and formed a force field around them. The large, indigo-colored orb with the robots inside was levitated off of the ground. Invisigirl ran up to it and kicked it as hard as she could, sending the robots crashing into a wall.
Speedster ran all around the room. While running, the robots tried feebly to catch up. Speedster then ran up to one of the robots and tripped it to the ground. He then tackled the other robot to the ground. While grounded, the robots were rushed with a fury of hooks, jabs, and punches from the little Super. After that, Speedster got off of the robots and ran away. Just as the robots got to their feet, a wooden table, courtesy of Mr. Incredible, crushed the robots.
After the fighting was over, the family all gathered together. âGood job everyone.â said Mr. Incredible. âWe really showed them.â
âThat was fun! Letâs do it again!â jumped an excited Speedster.
Elastigirl smiled and stroked her sonâs hair. âSorry honey, but its almost your bed time.â
The family laughed as they made their way out of the institute. On the way out, a security guard walked up to them. He was black, well-built, and looking like he was in his mid-thirties.
âThank you Incredibles. We donât know what we couldâve done without you. Those robots were a real pain for us.â
âWeâre just doing our job sir. Weâre glad to help.â said Mr. Incredible, shaking his hand. âI believe you can handle things from here.â
âYes sir.â said the guard, saluting the family.
The Incredibles got into the Incredibile and sped off into the distance. Meanwhile, the security guard made his way back inside the institute. He walked down the halls until he came to a door with the words, âTop Secretâ labeled on it. The guard turned the knob and opened the door. He stepped inside.
There was a table at the far end of the room. On the table was a device, about the size of a camera. The security guard picked it up.
âSir, I got it! I have found what we have been looking for.â he said, talking into a walkie-talkie.
He then started morphing into a different person. The black skin, uniform and slacks were replaced with baggy jeans, a t-shirt, and pale skin.
âExcellent work Metamorph. Those robots were perfect distractions for the Incredibles. They thought my robots were the thieves. We stuck after they believed the danger was over.â laughed Morticon. âNow, take the cloning machine and bring it back to the base. There is much work to be done.â
Iâve read through Chapter Five. I like how Tony is blisfully unaware of the Super standing next to him blushing. I guess sooner or later he is gonna have to find out who his girlfriend really is⊠this reminds me a bit of Spiderman 2 (how Peter Parkerâs crime-fighting activities jeopardizes his love-life, and how he eventually has to reveal his identity to Jane). I wonder what path you will make Violet take, but whatever her choice, Iâll be awaiting her decision with baited breath!
Oh, and thanks for the cameo! That was an honour to be considered a loyal enough member to be granted a guest appearance in your fanfic! Though, I wish my group had done their homework⊠I recognised the other two, but Iâm afraid I donât know who Laura is (unless by her screenname?).
I love the cliffhanger ending, finally, some action (not that I didnât mind the downtime before)! Iâll post a review for Six once Iâve read it.
TDIT: Thanks for your review of chapter 5. And Laura is the real anme of a user on the boards, but i think you can figure the rest on your own. Anyways, I canât wait to read the next review.
Good one, TSS ! It was a clever chapter. I like how youâve described every family memberâs âcrime-fighting style.â The ending was also good. To tell you the truth though, I was kinda expecting it. But it was good none-the-less. Canât wait for the next chapter, TSS !
Wow, this is the best action sequence Iâve seen from you so far! I donât know, it just seems all new and original, maybe because the last fanfic was a sequel and it featured Syndrome wrecking cities again, so to see your own Original Characters (the robots) fighting in a new setting (Metroville Insitute of Technology) is like a breath of fresh air.
The way how you described the Incredibles fight the robots (along with the robotsâ humorous reactions like âstood still nervouslyâ and âtried feebly to catch upâ). Making the robots look like clumsy henchmen and how the Incredibles defeated them in their own style were nice touches, and wouldnât look out of place in a Pixar film.
I kind of saw the âBait and Switchâ twist coming when the security guard appeared, but itâs still kinda cool. Looks like the Incredibles have a smarter enemy to go up against, so they may have to watch their backs! I wonder what they need a cloning machine for (actually, I answered my own question, to clone things, duh), I canât wait to find outâŠ
Violet Parr: I am glad you enjoyed it. I hope you got a rush when you were reading Violetâs fight scene.
TDIT: Thanks for your review TDIT. Yeah, I need to work on my endings to make them a little less predictable. Well, at least I know that I do well with action scenes. I hope the work was worth it.
I decided to update a little earlier.
Chapter 7: Meeting with Rick
The following weekend, the sun peaked its way into the Parr house. The entire family snuggled in their warm and cozy beds. It was about 7:30 AM when the telephone started to ring, waking everyone up. Dash buried his head in his pillow. Violet drew the covers over her head. Helen and Bob sat up, stretched out, and yawned.
âBob honey, would you get that please?â asked Helen, turning over.
Bob grunted and picked up the telephone, located on the little nightstand by the bed.
âHello . . .oh Rick, hi! What? Okay . . .bye.â Bob places the receiver down and turns to Helen. âRick wants us in his office as soon as possible.â
Helen nodded as she got out of bed. She went into Violet and Dashâs room and woke them up. After that, she made her way into the kitchen. She had just started frying some bacon when a drowsy Dash walked in and sat down at the kitchen table.
âRise and shine sleepy head.â laughed Helen.
Dash yawned. âWhy did you have to wake me up so early mom. Itâs a weekend. I donât have school today.â
âI know honey, but Rick Dicker wants to see us today. He wants us to give a report about the robbery we foiled.â
Just then, Violet entered the kitchen, followed by Bob. Vi helped herself to some cereal and milk. Bob placed two toasts on his plate, along with three strips of bacon. After a good meal, everyone went to their rooms to change into their super suits.
The Incredibles hopped into the Incredibile and sped over to the NSA Headquarters. It was a gigantic building. It was the tallest stucture in Metroville and California, and it was the seventh largest stucture in the United States. After greeting a few people in the main lobby, they made their way toward an elevator located across the room. They rode the elevator up to Rickâs office, which was located on the top floor.
âIncredibles, so glad to see you all again.â smiled Rick Dicker, getting up from his desk.
He walked to the family, shook everyoneâs hand, and then escorted them to his desk. The Incredibles sat down in four comfortable chairs across from Rick. Rick made his way to his chair, behind his desk, and sat down.
âWe kicked so much robot butt!â said an excited Speedster. He started explaining to Rick the night of the robbery with high energy and excitement. âThere were eight of them. So we all took on two. My dad took down two bad guys really easily like, âBAM! BOOM! Take that you robot!â And my mom, wow that was amazing! She grabbed that robot and dropped him on his head! And I . . .â
âWhoa now, slow down there son.â Rick chuckled. âNow, I know what you guys did was incredible. Should I expect anything less from our top Supers?â
The family smiled. Ever since Syndromeâs defeat, the Incredibles have been Metrovilleâs top crime-fighters and well as top U.S. Supers and world heroes. They have countlessly foiled many plots to take over the world, saved the earth from destructive forces and threats, and prevailed against felonious criminals in their city.
âThey were too easy Rick,â said Mr. Incredible, âand the good news is that nothing was stolen.â
Rickâs smile turned upside down. âUnfortunately, that is the whole reason why I called you all in here.â Rick got out of his chair. âYou see, right after you guys left, something was stolen from the institute.â
Questions started to fill the minds of the family.
âBut that is impossible. The security guard told us that they had everything under control before we left.â Invisigirl explained.
âApparently, after you left, the institute had themselves a late visitor. The guards had no idea of a second robbery until after they found out something was missing.â Rick stated.
Elastigirl turned to her family. âYou know, I get this feeling that those robots we fought couldâve been a distraction for us. We thought that they were the threat and believe it was over after we defeated them. The second robber probably struck when we thought we stopped the robots and left.â
âSpeaking of which,â interrupted Invisigirl, â do you know what was stolen?â
Rick nodded. âOnly one thing: It is a little device known as the Cloning Machine.â
Rick took out a picture from his suit pocket and showed it to the Incredibles.
âWhat does it do?â Speedster wondered.
âWith this thing, one has the power to make multiples of whatever object her or she desires. All you do is set the number of copies of something you want by using the dial. Second, you point at the object you wish to clone. Finally, you press the button. It kind of works like a camera, but instead of a picture, you get copies.â
âWhat would this person want a cloning machine for?â the young Super asked inquisitively.
Invisigirl replied, âWell, if it was a bank robber, he would have the power to multiply money in large quantities. Or a ruthless bad guy could multiply his army with a simple touch of a button. Or maybe . . .â
Suddenly, Rickâs phone started to ring. Rick picked it up. âHello? Yes theyâre all here . . . what? Oh my . . . okay, Iâll send them right away.â Rick placed the phone down and looked at the Incredibles with a serious expression. âIt seems like your daughter is right. I got a call from the Mayor. Apparently, a carrier ship, docked at the Metroville Seaport, has just unleashed an army of robots. The same robots you all faced a few nights ago.â
Mr. Incredible got out of his chair. âDonât worry Rick, weâll stop them.â
âNo you wonât.â said Rick. Mr. Incredible and the rest of the family stared at him with question in their eyes. âI have an assignment for each of you. Weâll let the other Supers of Metroville handle the robots. What you four are going to do is go into the carrier ship and destroy them. If we eliminate the carrier, the robots will stop coming.â
Mr. Incredible nodded. âWeâll take care of it. Come one Incredibles! Its showtime!â
Invisigirl sighed. âDad, you do you have to use that tagline every time.â
Mr. Incredible smiled and winked at his daughter, who smiled back at him.
Thereâs nothing better to wake up to this early in the morning than a superhero serial!
TSS you do not disappoint either! Iâll leave the whole spelling and grammar stuff to someone who wants and has the time to play with it! Iâm on Summer Holidays and not a teacher again until September!
The dialogue youâve given Dash just fits so perfectly⊠especially his comments to Dicker on the events of the previous chapter!
Its really good⊠Now I want the next step⊠and youâve given me the inspiration to finish chapter 2 too!